Our Bolivian adventure began with the Salt Flat Tour, a three-day tour starting from San Pedro de Atacama, Chile and ending in Uyuni, Bolivia. We booked with Green & White Tours who shuffled us and our new mates across the border in a very nice cream-colored Toyota Land Cruiser. In the car was our driver, Luis, a calm and quiet dad of two, and beside him, Doug, who wouldn’t fit in any other seat and only spoke Portuguese. In fact, our group motto became “CARNE!” because he frequently felt we didn’t have enough meat with our meals, and it was the only thing any of us understood him saying. In the second row of seats was his cousin, Junior, a kindhearted and energetic young man, and official Doug translator. He helped to hype us up for the Salt Flat Tour by playing loud music, taking videos, and running beside the truck at four in the morning during our early morning wake-ups. He is the lovable one who kept the group cohesive whilst cramped in an SUV for three days. Next to him were the classic British grandma and grandpa. Proud and opinionated, they kept car rides interesting and were up for all of our adventures regardless of how much walking was required. And then there was Coons, crammed in the last row, and Kourtney who is used to taking the smallest spaces. We traveled closely alongside another vehicle from the same company and met two friends who we would run into again, Dean and Yeoibom. They are an Australian/South Korean husband and wife looking to open a craft brewery in Yeoibom’s hometown somewhere in South Korea. And last but not least, Matija from Croatia and Filipe from Serbia, two friends who travel annually together to a new part of the world. Together we represented every continent with the exception of Africa. We became quite close with all of these wonderful people; if not because of the close quarters, then because of their adventurousness and of course, the perspective pictures!

The first day was very exciting: we started the journey at a beautiful lake with bright green algae, desert browns, and surrounding snow-capped mountains. We watched as flamingos flew by and were thinking this is an excellent start to the journey.

Next, we visited the thermal springs where we relaxed before lunch. Almuerzo was a nice salad, chicken, and vegetables. Having our fill, we hopped back in the truck to visit the geysers. They were plentiful, colorful, smelly, and soo cool!

Our final stop of the day was to visit hundreds of flamingos in their natural habitat. We got to get so close and watch them gulp water down their long necks!

It was another two hours to the town where we would spend the first night. The only glorious thing about this town was the soccer field, because, priorities. When one of the guides presented us with our dinner, he told us it was a traditional Bolivian dish: hot dogs, egg, bacon, tomato, onions, french fries, and alpaca meat.

Needless to say, it was a letdown and we were convinced someone forgot we were coming and threw together whatever they had left in the refrigerator. However, we would find out later that this was not the case, and true to his word, this is a dish that Bolivians proudly serve. We’re still in shock too.

The next day we visited multiple rock formations resembling the world cup, a camel, and a snake canyon. Coons climbed on everything he could!

We passed quinoa fields of bright red, yellow, and orange. Who knew they were so vibrant! We stopped for lunch at a very festive hall with herds of alpaca out back. Everyone was a little nervous for our lunch considering last night’s dinner, but the spread was wonderful! Cheese and olives, a tuna salad, rice, vegetables, and shepherd’s pie; there was no way the men would go hungry today! We made a pit stop to try some craft beer an hour outside our accommodations — Coons tried the coca beer and Kourtney tried the cactus one. If you go to Bolivia, don’t try the cactus beer! Our hotel for the night was a beautiful salt hotel. Everything was made out of salt: the tables and chairs, the beds and nightstands, and even the walls! We came together for one last meal and celebrated our journey with some Bolivian wine (thankfully not brewed with cactus).

As previously mentioned, the salt flat morning was an early one. It was absolutely freezing and pitch dark, but as the sun started to rise, and we were driving on the flats, splashing salt water around, we all became quiet and humbled by the vastness of this serene land. The hundreds of pictures speak for themselves. We had the best time watching the sun rise over the surrounding mountains as it reflected in the thin layer of water covering the salt.

Later we spent literal hours taking perspective pictures with our group — never has seven hours passed so quickly!

After we stopped at a train cemetery outside of Uyuni where the railway from Chile to Bolivia was abandoned and left to rust in the rough salt winds. Once in town, we said our goodbyes to some of the group and joined others to find out what the heck the Extreme Fun Bar was all about. Probably a little X-rated for some family and friends back home, but we enjoyed some drinks and laughs for our final hours together.

We’re not usually ones for organized tours, but the people we’ve met and the sights we’ve seen have been worth every penny. Thanks for an awesome tour, all. We will always remember you!

After the Salt Flat Tour, we popped into Peru to do some hiking, and made our way back to La Paz, Bolivia briefly to visit the US Embassy there as Coons was quickly running out of passport pages. Tough problem to have, huh? We stayed at a really nice hostel, Guest House, with rooms that look like proper hotel rooms, a nice change from living out of our tent in Peru. We were next to a mall where we were able to enjoy Subway and people watch as crowds lined up to see the new Avengers movie in theaters. While we had wanted to visit Lake Titicaca and Copacabana, Coons’ post-Machu Picchu sickness meant we would have to save that for another time (good thing Kourtney paid for a 10-year visa!).

We had signed up to volunteer at Jaguar’s House Hostel through a website called Workaway which connects travelers with hostels and non-profits around the world that need help in exchange for room & board. We thought this would be an excellent experience as it would give us an opportunity to relax in one place for three weeks, give back a little, and save some money for our upcoming flight to Africa! Tamy, a small woman with a soft voice and a head full of ringlet curls, is the owner of the hostel and she gave us a brief tutorial of the responsibilities during our shifts, although we would quickly learn it was impossible to cover everything we would run into. Ben signed up for the 4-9pm block and started that evening with a very busy shift. Kourtney chose the overnight shift from 9pm-8am, so we would have two full days off together to keep exploring (and so she wouldn’t have to answer the phone).

We were lucky enough to have free breakfast each morning cooked by Andi, a thin girl with wide framed black glasses and an affinity for Beyonce. Unfortunately for us, breakfast is not the most important meal of the day in South America. In hostels, it usually consists of eggs heavily dressed in salt, coffee or tea, puff cereal that melts in your mouth (similar to the kind our toddler friends Aubrey and Abby are eating), fruit, and the stiffest bread we’ve ever seen. Seriously, you could whip this bread at someone and cause some serious damage. We had to get creative if we were going to survive for three weeks. Luckily we found Honey Bunches of Oats which really had us looking forward to b-fast each morning (just don’t ask us how many boxes we went through).

We were able to do a couple of excursions around town: the first week we took the cable car up to see the tallest Jesus statue in South America (in your face, Brazil!) and went to a soccer game. Let us tell you — the Cochabambans (just made that up) know how to party! The tailgate was a massive pig pile of men with their shirts off jumping up and down chanting while the band wailed on. When we got into the stands, we were fortunate to get seats behind the band who played nonstop for two hours. We did not sit down for the entire duration of the game. We watched as they sang and shouted insults at the other team. Despite a loss by the home team, we had a blast!

The next week with our two days off, we ventured to ToroToro National Park to look at dinosaur footprints and climb through the Itas caves. The caves were a big highlight as we were repelling down and crawling into some seriously tight spaces; we almost had to leave Coons behind!

Our time in the national park was a nice change of pace from life at the hostel. There we dealt with a variety of issues from random people requesting we hold onto their cheese until their amigo could come by to pick it up, youngsters coming in at all hours of the night and throwing up on themselves the next morning, to the incessant questions and requests from a German couple we nicknamed the ‘MaGoos.’ Go away Mrs. MaGoo, it’s 7:45 in the morning! No, I don’t know how to fix your German cell phone. Please close the door, Mr. MaGoo, the guests checking in don’t want to see you in your tighty-whities!

The last weeks’ adventure didn’t go as planned; instead of hiking just outside Cochabamba, we went to the clinic because Kourtney got sick and hadn’t been able to eat for a couple of days. We stayed in the hospital for two hours while Kourtney was flushed with fluids and went to a local pharmacy to get four different types of medications to treat what seemed like salmonella poisoning. Just as Kourtney was starting to feel better, Coons started feeling sick, so we took her prescription list to a different pharmacy and refilled again for him #bolivia #norules. All of this costs us $168 — so so cheap! And in case you’re worried, yes, we do have travel health insurance.

After Coons’ final shift on a Saturday, we took a night bus back to La Paz to retrieve his passport. We planned a three-day hike called El Choro which starts at 15,000 feet near the Death Road. After being dropped off on the side of the road, we had an hour walk uphill to the trailhead that was very cold and windy. We had most of the cold gear we brought on until we reached the top and the sun was above the mountains. From there, we descended almost 3,000 feet over 10 miles. It felt so wonderful to be outside again and on part of the Inca trail network, although our knees wished those Incans had mixed in a few uphill sections.

Near the end of the day, we were already sore (usually this doesn’t happen until the next morning) and using our hiking poles as crutches. When we finally reached our campsite, we quickly set up, and got ready for our delectable peanut butter and banana sandwich dinner. We met a lovely Australian named Keyta who was doing her first solo hike as her partner was hiking another 6,000 meter mountain she wasn’t interested in summiting. She asked if she could join us tomorrow and confessed that her boyfriend begged her to make friends so she would feel safer. The next morning, she made a delicious cup of coffee (for Kourtney and herself) and we all set out. Originally, we weren’t planning on making the last campsite on the trail which was over 14 miles away, but quality girl talk with Keyta, and the thought of a home cooked meal, kept Kourtney occupied most of the day. When the girls weren’t chatting, we were crossing the sketchiest bridges man (or Incas) could make and undulating (Keyta’s word – she’s wicked smaht) up and down the hills of the valley.

It seemed like we were at the last campsite in no time. This campsite was beautiful and provided us a hearty dinner and free potable water (even if it was scalding hot). The last day was a short three-hour hike to the final town, Chairo, where we caught the only taxi to Coroico before it was back to La Paz. Convinced Coons and Brode would get along swimmingly, Kourtney and Keyta agreed we should all meet up at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. It was so wonderful to meet the two of them. We hope you two are well!

On Thursday, we decided our big city tour would be a Cholitas Wrestling show. A mix of American WWE and Mexican Lucha Libre with a Bolivian twist, this wrestling show was designed by feminist women to advocate for the same rights as Bolivian male wrestlers. And truth be told, these women absolutely steal the show! Conservatively dressed in their flowy skirts, bowler hats, jewelry, and shawls, they spent the evening just kicking butt and taking names. The typical storyline had one female wrestler and the male judge beat up the underdog until she finds the strength to fight back and win — complete with some classic and characteristically bad acting. Yet, it was so entertaining to watch these ladies climb up the ring in their skirts and fly through the air to attack their opponent. We also learned a few new Spanish curse words!

That Friday, we planned a small day hike to Valle de las Animas which was a little tough to get to because of the numerous marked and unmarked trails running everywhere. We walked up at a nice incline for about an hour until we saw the wind-swept rocks that look similar to Bryce Canyon. We enjoyed a snack up at the top before we began our descent; we actually found beef jerky in our local grocery store and bought probably four bags — it’s the little things y’all.

Saturday, decked out in elbow pads, knee pads, and diesel helmets, we took on the Death Road on mountain bikes. Our journey began with an hour of downhill riding a winding paved road getting passed by vehicles of all shapes and sizes. It was an excellent warm-up for the unpaved Death Road where no vehicles are allowed (with the exception of the ambulance and tour trucks). The Death Road is rocky and dusty with sharp curves around the mountains and exposed cliffs hundreds of feet down. No big deal. It was a beautiful and bumpy ride; sometimes we got wet riding underneath waterfalls falling from above. Coons had to convince our guide, Joel, to go a little faster so he could satisfy his need for speed. Kourtney is happy to report that she took her hands off the breaks several times. It truly was a gorgeous day for a bike ride. Thank goodness we get to live to see another day.

Our day of biking was the first of a four-day tour to Rurrenabaque, with the final three on an Amazon Jungle Boat Trip. Tired of overnight buses, we chose this instead of taking another 20 hour bus on some of the roughest roads Bolivia had to offer. Sounds incredibly fantastic and adventurous, right!? Except for the fact that at this point Kourtney already had her wedding dress, and the only thing protecting it in the wooden boat was a blue tarp with several holes in it. Oh, and then there were the mosquitoes who thought our DEET repellent was a natural aphrodisiac. They nipped Coons at the ankle, and Kourtney ended up with bites literally ev-er-y-where — the bottom half of her looked like an unvaccinated kid with the measles. Every brides’ dream! On the boat it was lovely; there was a nice breeze and we weren’t being attacked by anything except a few rapids here and there. The cool weather made Kourtney look saner in her long-sleeve and rain jacket combo which was obviously just to protect her from insects. When the crew became hungry for a snack, they would pull up beside the river bank and search for treats: bananas, plantains, and something very sweet that they use to make chocolate.

Along the river were several large barges (sponsored by the Chinese government) hauling rocks and water up in a bucket on a conveyor, sorting for gold. Fun fact: the gold in the riverbed is part of the reason why the water is the murky brown color. It was interesting to see these large boats tethered to the large Amazon trees creating these gigantic rock piles, but to be honest, after you start to see them every couple hundred feet, it gets kind of old. It never got old waving to the locals sifting for gold on the river banks though.

Our first campsite was off a narrow channel that we got stuck in — twice — and all of the crew hopped off the boat in their underwear to drag us to shore. Gentlemen, please, I’m about to be a married woman! We stayed in a hut off the beach where the bugs were in full force. At least they weren’t the ones that buzz near your ear incessantly. Instead, they sneak attack. The crew helped us set up camp complete with a mosquito net — thank you, universe — and cooked us a delicious dinner. The next morning we went on a hike deep into the jungle with no particular destination and ended up getting lost, pushing our two-hour hike closer to four. The jungle is beautiful and mysterious, but it is dense and requires hiking bent at a 90-degree angle to avoid overhangs or keeping apace with high knees to avoid tripping over vines. All the while you’re wondering what the hell the guy with the machete is doing up front. Why can’t I stand up straight, Martin? Our guide pointed out poisonous trees that locals use to drug fish in order to catch them, and the trees locals use to build boats, including the one we were traveling in. About the time Coons was attacked by an ant the size of his pinky finger thanks to its 12-inch vertical jump, and Kourtney unknowingly grabbed a tree with three-inch needles covering it to keep from falling down an embankment, we were #overitt. The other couple was way ahead of us, karate-chopping dead trees with the vivacity only 23-year-olds have after multiple hours lost in the jungle. Our reward for surviving was that the guides had caught a gigantic catfish and cooked it for lunch. It was so delicious!

Despite the cool weather, we did make time for some swimming spots. The first was a hike up a tributary that was swollen with rain from the downpour the night before. After 30 minutes up river, we came to the swim spot only to find the waterfall was raging and was too unsafe for a dip. The second swimming hole proved much more fruitful, a picturesque pool off the main river with a nice rock for jumping and pools further up that we explored.

The second night’s campsite was on the beach because of the danger of jaguars deep in the jungle. Don’t worry — we saw their footprints even though we didn’t see them. Our crew made a huge canopy for us with blue tarps and then we had dinner on the boat. The Brazilian decided to make a fire because the mosquitoes were finally starting to drive him insane, so we all had a nice chat on the beach when the boys weren’t searching the beach for the biggest logs they could find. Ramon announced the next morning during breakfast on the boat that there would be another hike. WTF, Ramon! I still have wood in my hand I need you to pick out. He promised it would be flat and much shorter — only two hours.

Kourtney daydreamed of staying under the mosquito net reading a Jane Austen novel but decided she couldn’t be that girl. The trail was flat and only a couple hours as promised because this one Ramon had marked with red spray paint due to previous visitors who got lost. Kourtney thanks those people for their sacrifice. In case you’re worried, they were rescued because they banged on one of the large trees until Ramon retrieved them. Finally back on the boat, it was three breezy hours until we reached Rurrenabaque and we could say we survived the Amazon Jungle.

Once we reached the town and said our goodbyes, we checked into our hostel, showered, and then did something truly stupid. We signed up for another Amazon tour. Kourtney agreed to a modified version with only one night because it would give us a chance to see pink dolphins and fish for piranha, but would skip the four-hour search for anacondas. It also provided nicer accommodations, and the lady at reception promised that the bugs weren’t as bad as what we’d previously endured. We had a nice dinner out at Juliano’s to celebrate not being eaten alive. We both had a different type of fish curry and shared a bottle of wine. Kourtney must have earned some major fiancé points because Coons agreed to share an Oreo cake dessert when we were stuffed to the brim.

The Amazon Wetland tour was fantastic! The perfect amount of time! We got breakfast at a French-style bakery and met up with George, a Dutchman who was as skittish as a baby giraffe once we were out in the jungle. He would be our companion for the final Amazon excursion. We got into a 4×4 and headed out onto some seriously bumpy dirt roads that completely blocked our view if a large vehicle was in front of us. There are few rules on the roads in Bolivia and we were driving on all sides of the roads quite quickly. Are speed limits even a thing here? Coons wouldn’t know because he was obviously asleep.

Back on the boat for round two, we started to see large birds and caimans immediately. Our boat captain’s methods were unorthodox but we did see adorable yellow and black monkeys up close when he ran the bow of the boat into a tree that caused them to freak out and make the most horrendous squeal.

Near where we were piranha fishing, there were capybaras, the largest rodent in the world. They look quite regal for a rodent. We stopped by a riverside bar to watch sunset, and just as the mosquitoes started to arrive, we got back on the boat to look for los ojos (eyes) in the night. For dinner, we feasted on the piranha mostly caught by our boat captain. It is not a very hardy fish but still tastes great. The men even ate the eyeballs!

The next morning we got up and took a cruise to watch the sunrise. We stood in a massive field covered in tall grass with water droplets reflecting off the spider webs in the morning sunlight. It was a foggy morning and the insects were starting their assault but the captain assured us the view would be worth it in 20 minutos. Just as Kourtney was about to remind the captain it had been 20 minutes and five seconds, the round sun illuminated the sky in a bright foggy eclipse. It was absolutely beautiful and well worth the wait, but let’s get back in that boat now, am I right?!

After breakfast, we went back out to visit the pink dolphins. Coons hopped right in the murky brown water to swim. Never mind the huge crocodile 20 feet away or that two minutes away is a prime fishing spot for piranhas. It is common for the dolphins to come up to you and possibly even give you a love bite, but these dolphins instead came up to Coons and flicked their tails, splashing him in the face. Once back in the boat, Coons finally caught his piranha! We went back for some lunch and then to pack up for the boat ride back. We survived the Amazon round two!

The next morning we were on a “bus” to Trinidad. This bus was not one of the large coach-style buses, or even one of those crappy colectivos, but an old minivan where the AC doesn’t work and there are no seat belts. Coons did score the front seat though. Kourtney was in the back, thankfully near a window, but desperately trying to protect her dress from the dirt permeating the car. Around dusk, we approached our first of two river crossings. So that’s why this journey takes for-ev-er. We drove onto a large wooden barge which brought us across to the other side, twice, before finally reaching Trinidad. There, we made our way to the bus station where we were expecting to board our second bus to Santa Cruz. However, there was a protest, resulting in a blockade of the only road to SC that wasn’t expected to be cleared until Monday (it was Friday). But we have a flight on Monday to Africa!

We found out that there is a tiny airport with flights to Santa Cruz, so we booked a hostel for one night and another plane ticket out of that terrible town. The hostel we stayed at was easily the grimiest place we’ve ever stayed. There were bugs everywhere, patrons blaring their televisions, and urine still in the toilet when we checked in. God, I hope these sheets are clean! Seriously, we looked up things to do in Trinidad, and one of the suggestions is to go to the park and listen to all of the mopeds and motorcycles zoom by. Cool.

The plane ride to Santa Cruz was short and sweet. We checked into our hostel, a bright orange room with two twin beds. After showering, we went out for acai bowls — yumm! For dinner, we visited the Madera Brewery where the University of Arkansas was busy recruiting the diverse population of students it’s known for; we spoke with one of the recruiters who said the school teams up with Bolivia to enroll students, and the majority of their tuition is paid for. Go Razorbacks!

The next day we started our journey from Santa Cruz, Bolivia to Buenos Aires, Argentina and finally Johannesburg, South Africa. One neat thing Coons realized is that he both started and finished his last passport in Bolivia. We enjoyed South America so very much; we immersed ourselves in a new culture and shared so many new, wonderful experiences with some awesome people. However, we were ready for a change and our own mode of transportation — whatever that might be! We had been in contact with a guy from Botswana who said he could have a Toyota Surf ready for us when we arrived, but unfortunately, that fell through the weekend we were leaving, because, Africa. Only 24 hours of travel was separating us from Project Buy-A-Car-And-Drive-To-Zimbabwe-To-Get-Hitched-In-Under-10-Days!